


Stop Me From Falling

by hopingforaword



Series: I Believe in Happy Endings [1]
Category: Degrassi, Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: AU, Cam doesn't die!AU, F/M, Suicidal Imagery, starts after bittersweet symphony (1)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25710643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopingforaword/pseuds/hopingforaword
Summary: See tags/end notes for trigger warnings.In the great Degrassi tradition, I will be naming each "episode" after a song. This one is named after "Stop Me From Falling" by Kylie Minogue
Relationships: Maya Matlin/Campbell Saunders
Series: I Believe in Happy Endings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864654
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> See tags/end notes for trigger warnings.
> 
> In the great Degrassi tradition, I will be naming each "episode" after a song. This one is named after "Stop Me From Falling" by Kylie Minogue

Maya flew out the front doors of Degrassi, squinting in the spring afternoon light as she looked around for Cam. Twelve hours was too long. They had lost a whole week of time together, but spring break in Kapuskasing had been good for Cam. Maya had never seen him so happy.

She got to the bottom of the steps and checked her phone. 12:07. It wasn’t like Cam to be late. Maya drifted over to the railing of the steps, pulling out her phone. As she did so, she saw two unguarded meal boxes.  _ Weird. _ She turned back to her phone. One new message. From Cam! Maya unlocked her phone.

“I’m not coming. Sorry. It’s over.”

Her eyes filled with tears and her heart started racing. He couldn’t do this to her. She’d just gotten him back. He’d apologized for what happened with Zig, she’d reminded him that there was no one she liked as much as him, and Katie had let him stay the night. He had taken Hoot! He couldn’t do this. After everything, a text? It couldn't end, not like this. 

Maya called Cam. He couldn’t just leave. She wouldn’t let him. He didn’t pick up. A few tears were tracking down her cheeks. She sniffled, and dialed Cam’s billet mom. Maybe he’d gone home. She could talk to him, make him explain. They weren’t over yet.

“Hello?”

“Mrs. Brady, it’s Maya.” She tried to keep her voice from shaking.

“Hi Maya! What’s wrong?”

“Cam and I were supposed to meet for lunch but he’s not answering my calls.” This was stupid. Mrs. Brady would think Maya was just an overly emotional teenager, some boy crazy fourteen year old. “Do you know where he is?”

“Oh, I don’t dear. He said he was going to Degrassi to meet you for lunch. Sorry.”

“Thanks.” Maya hung up. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. A cold sweat broke out over her body. This wasn’t about her and them anymore. It was about Cam. He was in danger, he must be. She had to find him. 

“Don’t panic,” she whispered to herself. The meal boxes she had noticed were from her favorite fast food restaurant. Maybe Cam had brought them. She pulled a wrapped burger out of one of the discarded meal boxes. It was still warm. If Cam had left them there, it couldn’t have been more than ten minutes ago. Cam wasn’t in the school, not with Simpson still on high guard. But he could be nearby

“The garden!” Maya screeched. People stared at her but she didn’t notice as she leaped off the steps and ran to the garden. It reminded Cam of the park near his home in Kapuskasing.

The garden was empty, but Maya knew Cam was there. He had to be there. There was nowhere else he could be. “Cam!” she called out to him in desperation, tears streaming down both cheeks, chest heaving.

“Maya?” a voice asked from the greenhouse, a weary voice that cracked halfway through her name. Maya ran into the greenhouse.

“Cam,” Maya sighed in relief, meeting his eyes. She saw a glint of silver in Cam’s hand, held close to his opposite wrist. “Cam,” she choked out. Maya squeezed her eyes shut, tears dripping onto the earthy floor.

The knife hit the floor with a dull thud, and warm arms wrapped around Maya. She closed her arms around him. “Maya. Maya don’t cry.” 

Maya opened her eyes and met Cam’s soft brown ones, and the tears came faster. He started crying, and they squeezed each other tightly as they stood together and cried. 

Maya wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and looked at him. “Why?” He didn’t respond, and Maya stepped back, shouting, “Why did you do this? What did I do?”

“It’s not about you,” Cam said, almost inaudibly. “There’s something wrong with me. I’m tired and sad all the time. And…”

“And what?” Maya couldn’t stop shouting. She’d cried herself out, and the fury that began to take over was uncontrollable.

“Zig told me if I cared about you, I would just leave you alone. You’d be better off without me. Everyone would.”

“Fuck Zig,” Maya closed the gap between her and Cam and kissed him harder than she ever had. “You are one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I hate people. I hate school. But when I feel like faking sick, I think about seeing you.” Maya took a deep breath. “I feel so awkward all the time, and your smiles always make me feel like the prettiest girl in the room. I don’t fit in and you don’t care. I wouldn’t stay here without you.” Maya rested her forehead against his and interlocked their fingers.

Cam swallowed hard. They stood together, silently. “I want to get help,” he whispered finally. “I hate feeling like this.”

Maya nodded. “And I want to help, Cam. I’ve seen the way you shine when you’re really happy. You can do this. You can beat it.”

“Whatever it takes, right?” he said, straightening up but keeping their fingers interlocked.

“Whatever it takes.” She kissed him again and they walked out of the greenhouse towards the front steps. 

They sat down on the front steps of Degrassi, Cam fidgeting nervously. Maya put a hand on his knee and texted Katie. “Can you drive me and Cam home? Long story. Pretty please?”

Lunch was about to end, but Maya wasn’t going back to class. She felt Cam’s leg bouncing and rubbed his knee gently. Maya looked up and saw Tori coming, and Maya got up to run to her, to apologize for kissing Zig and explain everything and get her best friend at Degrassi back. She saw Zig following Tori and Maya went blind with rage. She ran at him. “Maya, don’t!” Cam called after her, but it was too late.

“You evil, horrible, garbage,” Maya pummeled Zig’s chest with each word and pushed him away from her. He stumbled and looked at her, eyebrows raised. “Are you trying to ruin my life? You kissed me, you took Tori from me, and now you’re trying to take Cam?”

Tori stepped in between them. “Maya, calm down.”

“Tori, stop. Walk away. You deserve better than this slug.”

Zig looked confused until he caught sight of Cam approaching Maya quietly. “I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. He’s a psycho. You’d be better off without him.”

“Better off with you?”

“I–” Zig looked from Tori to Maya. Tori raised her eyebrows, shook her head and walked into the school. 

“You’re a terrible person,” Maya said to Zig. Cam grabbed Maya’s shoulders, but she was done hitting. “Leave me alone. Don’t talk to me anymore. Don’t even look at me.” Katie ran down the steps of Degrassi and pulled Maya into a hug. Cam followed, standing as far from Zig as possible. 

“Are you okay?” Katie said, looking over Maya’s shoulder at Zig.

“Everything’s fine. Well, sort of. Can you drive us?”

“Sure. Car’s in the lot.” Maya and Cam followed her to the car without another look at Zig. Zig watched them go, then ran into the building after Tori.

Zig ran to the grade nine hallway and saw Tori at her locker. “Tori, wait!”

Tori slammed her locker shut. “What is your problem?”

“I made a few stupid mistakes but I still like you, Tori!”

Tori laughed. “You just told Maya that she’d be better off with you. In front of me. And you think I want to get back together with you?” She turned away but Zig blocked her.

“It was a stupid mistake.”

“No, you kissing Maya was a stupid choice. What just happened,” Tori’s jaw trembled and Zig thought she was about to cry, “was the end of us. Forever.”

“Tori, please–”

“I have to go.” She turned away again and Zig followed her.

“Don’t you have a spare?”

“I have to go tell Tris about all the crap you’ve pulled and to remind him to never, ever let me get back together with you.” Tori reached the library but Zig blocked the door. Tori sighed and kept walking.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? Messing with Maya all year? Breaking my heart twice? I’m sorry, too. Sorry I wasted my first year of high school on a loser like you.”

“Tori, this can’t be the end of us.”

“You’re wrong. It is the end of us. Forever.” She walked away.

“Tori!”

Armstrong stuck his head out of his classroom. “Mr. Novak, is there somewhere you’re supposed to be right now?”

“No, sir, I have a spare.”

“Well certainly your spare could be better spent than yelling in the halls of Degrassi. Perhaps studying for your math exam tomorrow?”

Zig nodded quickly. “Yes sir.”

Zig ran off after Tori, thinking about how beautiful she was when she was angry.

Armstrong closed the door to his classroom. “Now, as I was saying, the marks on this round of quizzes were generally disappointing. While a few of you hit personal goals, many more are going to have to buckle down for the exam next Friday.”

Dallas slumped down in his seat. He knew he was in the many more and not the few. He glanced over at Alli, who sat to his right. Despite being a year younger than anyone else in calculus, she was the best in the class. The math seemed to flow effortlessly from Armstrong’s mouth to Alli’s mind. For the first time in his life, Dallas wished he was good at anything school-related. Armstrong handed Dallas his quiz. “Not your best work.” Dallas took the quiz and sighed at the red 48 on the top of his paper. He slouched down further as Armstrong started explaining the correct answers to the quiz.

The bell rang, and Dallas threw his stuff in his bag to follow Alli. “Bhandari! Yo, Bhandari!”

Alli turned around with an eye roll. “I told you the bet was off. I’m not interested.” Alli kept walking.”

“This isn’t about that.” Dallas jogged to catch up. “I’m failing calc. Badly. I need your help.”

“Mike, I’ve done this before. Guys like you don’t actually want to get better grades. They just want –”

“I’m a lot of things, Bhandari, but I’m not Drew Torres. I need the help. Really. Please.”

“Alright,” Alli said after a long moment.

“So my place, after school?”

Alli raised her eyebrows. “No places, not mine not yours. The Degrassi library. Three pm.” Alli walked away, and Dallas sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

Katie explained what happened to Mrs. Matlin, and she took over. She drove Cam home, Maya accompanying them. Maya leaned on Cam the entire ride to Cam’s billet home. He rested his arm on her shoulders and rubbed her back. Mrs. Matlin glanced at them periodically in the rear view. 

They arrived at Cam’s billet home and his billet mom threw the door open as soon as Cam took a step out of the car. “Cam!” she yelled as she pulled him into a hug. She released him and said, “You're on the first train tonight to Kapuskasing. Don't even try to argue.”

“Mom?” Maya asked quietly, her and Mrs. Matlin still standing on the curb, “Can I go with him?”

“Maya you just had spring break and you have school…” She stopped at the look on Maya’s face. “Of course. I'll talk to Principal Simpson.”

“He needs me mom,” Maya whispered, leaning into her mother. “He doesn't want to say it, but he needs me.”

Mrs. Matlin looked at her daughter. Maya wasn't eight anymore, pouting because Katie and Marisol were going to a middle school party without her. She wasn't eleven, arguing that she should be able to go on dates since Marisol was. She was fourteen; strong, smart, and fiercely protective of her boyfriend. Mrs. Matlin smiled and nodded. “Well of course we need to check with Mrs. Saunders-”

“Oh she assumed Maya would be coming along. She's excited to meet you.” Cam’s billet mom smiled at her. “Let's get you packed up Cam,” she said, ruffling his hair. 

“I'll help!” And before either mom could say anything, Maya and Cam were sprinting up the stairs to Cam’s room. 

They slammed the door shut and Cam hurriedly threw a random assortment of clothes into a duffle bag. Within three minutes, he was as packed as he felt he needed to be. He flopped down on the bed, and Maya laid next to him. Cam brushed the hair out of Maya's eyes and smiled at her. Maya smiled back, but stopped smiling when Cam’s face dropped. “What's wrong?”

“Hockey. I'm going to miss practices.” He turned into his back, hand over his eyes. 

“I thought you couldn't go when you were suspended.”

Cam turned back towards her and broke into a grin. “No hockey, no school,” he began. 

“I'll get homework from Tris and he can ask someone in your grade for yours,” Maya added. 

“Just you, me, and Kapuskasing.” Cam smiled with the words. 

“You know what the best way to start a week to ourselves is?” Maya asked. But she didn't give him time to answer as she leaned forward to kiss him. Cam smiled and closed his eyes, leaning forward slightly until his lips met Maya’s. 

They’d barely been kissing a second when Mrs. Matlin called up the stairs, “It’s been more than enough time to pack a week bag.” Maya and Cam pulled back and grinned sheepishly at each other before standing up and racing down the stairs, Cam’s duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

“Ready to go Cam?” his billet mom asked. He nodded.

“You have my ticket?”

She handed a ticket to Cam and another to Maya. “Have fun. I’ll see you in two weeks.” She hugged him and walked them to the door. 

Maya and Cam climbed into the back seat of the minivan as Mrs. Matlin started it. They drove in almost silence to the Matlins’ house, Maya leaning on Cam and Cam resting his fingers in Maya’s hair.

Zig was waiting on the front steps of Degrassi for Tori. She came out, talking animatedly to Tristan. Zig hurried toward them, and they both fell silent as they watched him approach. All three stood silently regarding each other until Tristan said, “Well?” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you have anything new to say?” Tristan asked, eyebrow raised.

“I’m really sorry?”

Tristan scoffed. “You broke up with her, ‘because high school, Tor!’ got back together, kissed her best friend, and tried to drive Cam out of Maya’s life. And all you have to say is, ‘I’m really sorry.’”

“No offense, but I’d like to talk to Tori.”

“Full offense, but she doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“What are you, her lawyer?”

“I’m her friend,” Tristan said, standing at his full height, “Which is more than I can say for you. Now get lost.”

Zig tried to lean around Tristan to look at Tori. She stared off at the ground and Zig’s shoulders slumped. “Whatever. Forget you.” Tristan rolled his eyes and walked away. Tori followed him.

“If she looks back at me, I still have a chance.” 

Zig stood there until Tori was out of sight. She didn’t look back. He turned away and ran the whole way home.

“I’ll wait in the car. You have five minutes,” Mrs. Matlin said, pulling to a stop in front of their house. “Five minutes!” she called after her daughter as Maya and Cam sprang out of the car.

Cam stood awkwardly in the doorway of Maya’s bedroom while she flew around her room, packing a bag. She stood up after about two minutes, bag filled to bursting with clothes. 

“How much could you possibly need that many clothes?” 

“Who knows what’ll happen in a week?”

“Right, you might need to clothe your identical clone...three times.”

Katie appeared in the doorway. “Can I talk to Maya for a minute?” Cam nodded and left. “Mom and Simpson said you can only go to Kapuskasing for one week.” 

Maya wanted to yell and scream and explain that her boyfriend had almost  _ died _ and hardly anyone seemed to be taking that into consideration. Forget school and everything else. She needed to be there for  _ Cam _ , who was probably her only friend left in the world. She took a deep breath.

“Okay.”

“And that you have to do all your homework while you’re there.”

“Of course.”

“And that you can’t have sex with Cam.”

“Katie!” Katie raised an eyebrow, and Maya threw a pair of socks into her bag. “She did not say that. Anyway, it’s not like we even ever…”

Katie sat down on Maya’s bed and started organizing her bag into slightly neater piles. “Ever what?” 

“Ever nothing! Mind your own business. And stop organizing my bag!”

Katie pulled her hands out of Maya’s bag. “Sorry.”

“When are you going to let me live my own life?”

Katie took Maya’s hand. “Maya, your boyfriend just tried to kill himself. I just want to make sure you’re not doing anything stupid.”

“Like you and Drew?” Maya spit back. Katie shrugged.

“Yeah. There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of guys out there more than willing to break your heart to get in your pants.”

“Can’t you see he’s not like that? This is different. We’re different.”

Mrs. Matlin called up the stairs, “Maya?” 

“One week,” Katie said, “Mom’s not budging.” She left the room, and Cam came back in, walking slowly over to Maya.

“Were you listening?”

“Of course not. I just wanted to say… You don’t have to come, you know. I don’t want you to upend your life for me.” 

Maya took Cam’s hands. “Do you want me to come?” Cam’s face scrunched up like he was going to cry, and he buried his face in Maya’s shoulder.

“Yes,” he said, his voice muffled, “Please, please come. I’m so scared.”

“Of course.” She picked his head up and kissed him gently. He smiled at her.

“MAYA!” Katie called from downstairs. 

Maya looked at Cam, who smiled weakly. “Let’s go,” he said, picking up Maya’s duffel bag and leading her out the door. She smiled and followed him.

“And that’s how you do an integral,” Alli said, putting her pencil down.

“Why does it make so much more sense when you say it than when Armstrong says it?” Dallas laughed.

“Because I only have to explain it to you and Armstrong has to explain it to twenty-five people who are all only sort of paying attention?”

Dallas laughed again, and Alli smiled. “How are you in calc as a junior?”

“I was in Degrassi’s gifted program in ninth grade.” 

“Degrassi has a gifted program?”

“Not anymore, but it did. Me, Clare, Connor, and KC were all in it together. When they took it away, Clare placed into upper grade English classes, Connor into science, and KC and I into math. Why are you in calc at all?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re an athlete,” Alli shrugged, “You’ve got this whole other world going for you, and you don’t seem to like math very much. Why not take statistics or something like that?”

“I like a challenge,” Dallas said, leaning back in his chair, “on and off the ice.”

Alli raised an eyebrow. “I think that’s fairly obvious.”

“Plus, Coach likes us to take some high level classes. It looks good for the team, especially when we haven’t always had the best behavioral record.”

“Yeah, I’d say your whole team getting into a fight at my best friend’s party wasn’t exactly great for the team.”

“It’s hard. You take a group of guys who have trained their whole life to be as aggressive as they can on the ice, and then expect them to be normal in every other situation.” 

Alli considered him, her head tilted. “I guess I never thought of it like that.” Dallas’s phone buzzed. “Should you get that?”

Dallas shook his head. “Probably just the guys shooting the shit.” It buzzed again. He picked it up to turn notifications off, and saw that it was a text from his coach: “Call me ASAP. Important changes for this week.” He looked up at Alli. “It’s my coach. Give me a second?” She nodded, and he dialed. “What’s up?”

“Saunders is going back to Kapuskasing for two weeks.”

“What now?”

“He had a breakdown, and he’s going to intensive therapy for two weeks.” Dallas rolled his eyes, and his coach sighed as if he knew what Dallas was thinking. “Dallas, this is serious.”

“I know, I know, we have to take care of each other. What do I tell the guys?”

“I’ll handle it. I wanted you to know because you’re the captain.”

“Thanks. I can’t believe that little flake–”

“Michael.” Dallas fell silent. They never went by first names with coach. “Campbell tried to kill himself.”

“Oh.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you for practice tomorrow.”

“Okay. Think about a new line up for Saturday.”

“I’ll have one by tomorrow. Bye.” He hung up.

Alli looked at him. “Are you okay?”

“One of our players is going on medical leave for two weeks for mental health reasons.”

“Is it Cam?”

It was Dallas’s turn to look questioningly at Alli. “How’d you know that?”

“He was saying some pretty upsetting stuff earlier about wanting to go to sleep and never wake up.”

“Geez,” Dallas said, “I didn’t think it was all that serious.”

Alli looked at him. “You’re something else, Dallas.”

“What do you mean?”

“You seem all bluster and macho hockey player, but you really care about your teammates, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.”

Alli closed the textbook. “I think that’s enough for today. Go take care of your boys.”

“Thanks.” Dallas smiled at Alli as he left.

Mrs. Matlin pulled into the parking lot at the train station, “Don’t talk to strangers,” she said, “and watch your bags at all times.”

“Mom, we know.”

“Call when you get there.”

“Of course.” Maya leaned forward and kissed her mom on the cheek. “I love you.”

“Thanks for everything Mrs. Matlin,” Cam said as he stepped out of the car.

Mrs. Matlin nodded. “One week, Maya. If you’re not back here in one week, I will personally drive to Kapuskasing to pick you up. And you’ll never see Cam again.” 

“She’ll be back, I promise.”

Cam helped Maya out of the car.

“Maya,” Mrs. Matlin said, grabbing her arm, “Be careful.”

“Don’t worry about me mom. You can trust me.”

Mrs. Matlin watched them walk toward the platform before driving away. Maya adjusted her bag. “Struggling?” Cam asked. 

“I may have overpacked.”

“May,” Cam said, raising his eyebrows. Maya bumped Cam with her shoulder but laughed nonetheless as they walked the steps to the platform. They boarded the train and found two seats next to each other. Cam threw their bags into the overhead rack, and took Maya’s hand as he sat down. She looked at him, and he smiled more brightly than she’d ever seen.

**Author's Note:**

> Suicidal imagery: Maya walks in on Cam about to kill himself. It is implied/stated that he was going to cut his wrists.


End file.
